Revell Kustom Chopper, with Spooky Rider
By Matt Melchert
The Story
Praetorius was a 17th century German nobleman who was killed during the Thirty Years' War (he can't recall on which side he fought; it was so long ago). Mortally wounded, he lay dying on the battlefield (which one he can't recall either) when the Valkyries came to take the slain off to Valhalla. As they soared off into the heavens with their charges he raised his hand to implore them to wait just a little longer, but it was too late. They were gone. His lifeless hand fell back on his chest.
"Ach! Was nicht?" he muttered to himself. Having thus missed the bus as it were, he decided he might as well get up and go home.
(Pardon me, readers, but this next bit is rather....distasteful.) Being thus a forgotten soul, Praetorius was stuck inside his decaying body. He soon became a horror and an abomination to his fellow men, so he kept to himself to avoid further trouble. In time all the soft tissue rotted away, leaving only the bones. To avoid being seen, he went about mostly at night. From time to time he would tire of walking and attempt to procure a horse to ride, but they were kinda scared of him and wouldn't let him.
Eventually he got bored with ambling around Europe. After he'd seen it all two or three times, he decided to set out for the New World. It took him several years to walk across the floor of the Atlantic Ocean. He would periodically surface to see which way to go, which didn't help a whole lot because of the lack of landmarks, especially on cloudy days.
Eventually he got there. As he wandered onto the Jersey Shore one night, he saw a brand new Harley Davidson Low Rider parked outside a motel.
"Ach, du liebe!" he cried. "Donner und blitzen! Vhy shouldt I vear out mein veary bones mit valking, vhen I can rrrrrrride?" (Imagine the last word with a really gutteral German "r" sound, extended with great relish.) As he touched the bike, it mysteriously transformed from a fairly ordinary Harley to the death-dealin' badass chopper you see in the pictures. It was meant for him--he knew it! The machine thundered to life beneath him and he roared off into the night, leaving a trail of fire in his wake. (What the owner thought of this we'll never know, as he had died that very night from a viagra-assisted heart attack in the arms of a young wild one, trying to regain his lost youth.)
Now Praetorius rides it to church every Sunday, where he attends a fellowship of likewise forgotten souls.
The Model
I purchased three of Revell's terrific Kustom Chopper kits: Aces Wild, Crusader, and Torch. These kits are cool because they come with alternative wheels, pipes and gas tanks. Further, you can mix and match between kits, as they differ in frame, seats, foot pegs, handlebars, forks, and air cleaner/belt drive cover designs, so you can come up with your own unique creations. Compared with other motorcycle kits the Kustom Chopper kits are sparsely detailed, but hey, they were designed with kids in mind, and anyway a real modeler doesn't shy away from having to do a little superdetailing.
I decided to use the frame from Torch, the seat and air cleaner/belt covers from Crusader, Aces Wild's handlebars and fork, and the straight exhaust pipes. The frame and tank were painted Tamiya matt black from a spray can. I shortened the risers on the handlebars and raked them backwards slightly for a more racy look. The skulls and the cylinder pots were touched with black wash for accent. Black electrical wire was used for the hydraulic and electrical lines.
The result you can see in the pictures. The other two kits were similarly built up into customized machines, but this one is my clear favourite. Real custom choppers are typically given names, so I named this beast Mr. Macabre.
The Figure
I thought such a cool bike would need a cool rider, but it seemed the chances of finding anything suitable at anything like a reasonable price were mightly slim. However, a quick Google search revealed an interesting possibility. Promising, but where would you find a skeleton like that? In New Zealand, yet? As luck would have it, a few days later my Good Lady and I went to Spotlight (a kind of haberdashery department store), and there in the Halloween section was a packet of decorations including---my skeleton! I snatched one off the rack and raced to the counter with it.
The figure is made of resin and has no movable joints except the hips. However, a little judicious surgery and local application of heat allowed me to shape it into a suitable pose to fit on Mr. Macabre.
Modifications
Like a real chopper, these models are great for modification. For this reason, I'd recommend putting it together initially with the idea that at some point you'll want to take it apart again to make changes, i.e. light application of glue and painting with a brush rather than spraypaint/airbrushing so cuts, hacks, and fills can be covered less noticably.
After the initial construction I discovered a set of resin springer forks made by Jerry's House of Resin on eBay, so I ordered a set. The casting is fairly crude on these and they required a considerable amount of work to clean up, but they look great when done! The original front end was removed and replaced with the springer set, which was painted matt black to match the rest of the bike.
Other post-build modifications include painting the rims flat black and trimming the rear fender to the bare minimum required to support the hammock seat. I'll undoubtedly make more changes when I think of them! For example, I'd like to lower the seat a bit and replace the headlight with a chrome skull, maybe with working lights for the eyes if I can work out how to do it. Also, I'm considering chroming the forks, but I haven't decided on that one.
Conclusion
These Revell Kustom chopper kits are great fun! As you well know there's no limit to what you can do in this hobby, and they're a perfect vehicle for customization. They're also a pretty easy build, and thus they'd make a great project for kids.
